This last Sunday was our church's 7 year anniversary. After the sermon, our Pastor asked if anyone in the congregation wanted to come forward and share with everyone their experience with the church and how God has allowed them to grow as a community or as an individual. A good handful of people came forward and shared their experiences of the last 7 years and what they loved about the church. The most amazing and jaw-dropping response came when two new people (1st day at church) stood up and shared their experience, and what they saw in just a few hours they had been there. They delighted in the fact that we are a community and family. I wanted to get up to share, but I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to share or how to say it. Last night in CG I was asked to share, again my tongue was tied. I was able to share a little bit but nothing extraordinary. It wasn't until I got home that I was able to think about my response and pray about it. I asked God to show me what or how I can respond to this question. As I fell asleep praying, God answered. I doubt If anyone from the church will read this or if anyone else will but at least I know I have been able to share.
King's Church has been an answer to my prayers. You have read about my dreaded dark times in previous posts. During those times I have cried out to God wanting an answer, a change. I knew in my heart I was not where I wanted to be. I knew that God had better plans for a better way of life. Don't get me wrong, I loved my life, but it had it's struggling and still does. The change came when we started CG 4 years ago. There is something to be said when you can go into a room full of women you don't know, and be able to share your true self. I was broken, beaten (emotionally), depressed, and even though I had an excellent family, I was alone. These women gave themselves to me. They listened, they understood what they could, and they loved me. They modeled Christ love for me. I didn't know it at the time, but they did. Over time I developed friendships with these women and new women. I listened with all my heart to the sermons, I prayed occasionally. I have said in the past entry's that the best book ever was "The praying life" by Paul Miller. His book taught me how to pray, why we pray, what to expect when we pray. Once again I was able to humble myself before the Lord and see His throne as I prayed. I was able to pour out my heart to God. I was able to be selfish in the presence of My Creator, tell him everything that made me sad, happy and angry. God listened, I know he did. My faith was renewed. I was made new, but little did I know the growth was to come. More sermons came, more friendships were built I was on top of the world.
In a blink of an eye, it came crashing down. Spiritual warfare was being played out. At the time I had no idea. I became broken again, I put on my mask as if everything was okay. Guess what, my church family saw right through it. Once again totally ashamed that I could feel this low they accepted me, they listened, they didn't judge. I can see now that I was Idolizing my new family. Thinking they were all I ever needed, never once giving thanks to God for giving me this gift. I was going to church, I was in CG what could go wrong I was "the perfect" Christian. WRONG!!! What God was telling me was, I was to blind! See... I needed Him. I needed a relationship with Him. I needed the desire to walk with my King. The church family is crucial don't get me wrong. You need them to keep you accountable, to love you in this physical world, to pray with you, to pray for you, to listen, to cry with you, to jump for joy when you are. But those qualities are not all you need. You need Christ at the center.
Time went on, more sermons heard, more prayers said, more family gatherings, the more books read I started to grow again.
The lessons I learned from my church family are as follows:
* To completely humble yourself before Christ and ask him not to change what you want, but to say Lord change me. Help me to become what you designed me to be. (it's not easy, and it will be hard, but he won't leave you alone.)
* You don't need anything else in life except Christ.
* Everyone is a sinner and has faults, love them. You can't change them, but you can forgive them.
* Pray as though you're talking to your best friend.
* Prayer of or any kind of conversation with your creator is a relationship He wants.
* Through spending time in his word (still need to work on that) there is a Joy that you cant explain.
* I am never alone! My God, My King, My Creator is always with me. He loves me despite my faults, He has forgiven me though I do not deserve it.
Kings Church is not a Church, it's a family. This family will love you, will be at your side, will not abandon you, will not shame you. They will model Christ. I know because they have done that for me. I love each and every one of you. Thank you for showing me the way to God's heart.
King's Church has been an answer to my prayers. You have read about my dreaded dark times in previous posts. During those times I have cried out to God wanting an answer, a change. I knew in my heart I was not where I wanted to be. I knew that God had better plans for a better way of life. Don't get me wrong, I loved my life, but it had it's struggling and still does. The change came when we started CG 4 years ago. There is something to be said when you can go into a room full of women you don't know, and be able to share your true self. I was broken, beaten (emotionally), depressed, and even though I had an excellent family, I was alone. These women gave themselves to me. They listened, they understood what they could, and they loved me. They modeled Christ love for me. I didn't know it at the time, but they did. Over time I developed friendships with these women and new women. I listened with all my heart to the sermons, I prayed occasionally. I have said in the past entry's that the best book ever was "The praying life" by Paul Miller. His book taught me how to pray, why we pray, what to expect when we pray. Once again I was able to humble myself before the Lord and see His throne as I prayed. I was able to pour out my heart to God. I was able to be selfish in the presence of My Creator, tell him everything that made me sad, happy and angry. God listened, I know he did. My faith was renewed. I was made new, but little did I know the growth was to come. More sermons came, more friendships were built I was on top of the world.
In a blink of an eye, it came crashing down. Spiritual warfare was being played out. At the time I had no idea. I became broken again, I put on my mask as if everything was okay. Guess what, my church family saw right through it. Once again totally ashamed that I could feel this low they accepted me, they listened, they didn't judge. I can see now that I was Idolizing my new family. Thinking they were all I ever needed, never once giving thanks to God for giving me this gift. I was going to church, I was in CG what could go wrong I was "the perfect" Christian. WRONG!!! What God was telling me was, I was to blind! See... I needed Him. I needed a relationship with Him. I needed the desire to walk with my King. The church family is crucial don't get me wrong. You need them to keep you accountable, to love you in this physical world, to pray with you, to pray for you, to listen, to cry with you, to jump for joy when you are. But those qualities are not all you need. You need Christ at the center.
Time went on, more sermons heard, more prayers said, more family gatherings, the more books read I started to grow again.
The lessons I learned from my church family are as follows:
* To completely humble yourself before Christ and ask him not to change what you want, but to say Lord change me. Help me to become what you designed me to be. (it's not easy, and it will be hard, but he won't leave you alone.)
* You don't need anything else in life except Christ.
* Everyone is a sinner and has faults, love them. You can't change them, but you can forgive them.
* Pray as though you're talking to your best friend.
* Prayer of or any kind of conversation with your creator is a relationship He wants.
* Through spending time in his word (still need to work on that) there is a Joy that you cant explain.
* I am never alone! My God, My King, My Creator is always with me. He loves me despite my faults, He has forgiven me though I do not deserve it.
Kings Church is not a Church, it's a family. This family will love you, will be at your side, will not abandon you, will not shame you. They will model Christ. I know because they have done that for me. I love each and every one of you. Thank you for showing me the way to God's heart.
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