Understanding my gifts and how it is wrapped up in everything I do has helped me better understand who I am. Why I do what I do. Why I feel the way, I feel. Please don’t think I have it all figured out because I don’t! Every day is different for me. Circumstances frequently come together in so many different ways that I just find myself without words; often overwhelmed. It is in these moments I am occasionally aware of my need for Christ. Like I said "occasionally." Sometimes it's after the circumstances have played out where I realize that I might not have done the right thing.
So, how do I know that what I experience is Mercy and not Grace? Grace is what was given to me because I am a sinner. Grace is what we can offer to one another when someone has offended you. The dictionary states that Grace is " favor or goodwill." Mercy is God’s heart toward me. The dictionary states Mercy is an act of "kindness and compassion."
The gift of mercy allows me, to show God’s heart toward others. Grace, mercy, and peace are all related to each other. God gives me grace, His willingness to act for me, even when I do not deserve it. He gives mercy to me through His son, Jesus, and only then can I find peace. Mercy is a wonderful gift. It allows me, through the Holy Spirit, to bring hope and comfort to those who are suffering. Sharing Grace to someone is modeled by still seeing them as God's design, God's child, God's love. In the midst of a battle, it can be difficult. Still showing them favor or love can be the hardest thing you can learn. I learned through the book " Sacred Influence," which I referenced in a past entry, that no one is perfect. Jesus was and is the only one to walk perfectly in this World. I am a sinner and unworthy of Grace, Mercy, and Love. But, because, of God's Grace, Mercy and Love towards me am I redeemed of my sin.
How did I learn this you ask? Well, one of my girls "B," her mother was an alcoholic and battled severe depression due to the loss of her son many years ago. God rest her soul. She could be nice one minute and screaming and yelling at me the next. She would go from loving me, calling me sister, talking with me as a friend, caring for me and then turn on me as if I was her worst enemy. This went on for a better part of a year and a half. Through it all, I was able to see past her anger and sin towards me because of God showing me Grace and Mercy. I was able to pray for her, pray that God would give me the understanding of Grace and Mercy. I prayed that God would forgive her, that she would see my acts and be drawn to the Lord. I prayed for our love for each other to grow, and I was able to love her as a sister and forgive.
Each time these battles would fire up, it would tear away a piece of my heart. I couldn't figure out at first what I did wrong. I loved her, I loved her daughter as my own. I took them places they need to go, I bought her daughter things that the mother couldn't provide for her own daughter. But, leaning on God in this time was the only way I could survive this relationship. I didn't want loose "B" by cutting off ties to her mom.
About four months ago this sister passed away unexpectedly. I was not able to say goodbye as she was brain dead. I was not able to be by her side and hold her hand through this. The day of her funeral I had a moment of silence in her honor. I mourned her, I grieved for her daughter. Despite the battles we had, I miss her. I wish I could have done more. This love I had for her, is nothing compared to the Love God has for us, but I can honestly say I was able to love her because of God.
Stay tuned for the gift of shepherding.
So, how do I know that what I experience is Mercy and not Grace? Grace is what was given to me because I am a sinner. Grace is what we can offer to one another when someone has offended you. The dictionary states that Grace is " favor or goodwill." Mercy is God’s heart toward me. The dictionary states Mercy is an act of "kindness and compassion."
The gift of mercy allows me, to show God’s heart toward others. Grace, mercy, and peace are all related to each other. God gives me grace, His willingness to act for me, even when I do not deserve it. He gives mercy to me through His son, Jesus, and only then can I find peace. Mercy is a wonderful gift. It allows me, through the Holy Spirit, to bring hope and comfort to those who are suffering. Sharing Grace to someone is modeled by still seeing them as God's design, God's child, God's love. In the midst of a battle, it can be difficult. Still showing them favor or love can be the hardest thing you can learn. I learned through the book " Sacred Influence," which I referenced in a past entry, that no one is perfect. Jesus was and is the only one to walk perfectly in this World. I am a sinner and unworthy of Grace, Mercy, and Love. But, because, of God's Grace, Mercy and Love towards me am I redeemed of my sin.
How did I learn this you ask? Well, one of my girls "B," her mother was an alcoholic and battled severe depression due to the loss of her son many years ago. God rest her soul. She could be nice one minute and screaming and yelling at me the next. She would go from loving me, calling me sister, talking with me as a friend, caring for me and then turn on me as if I was her worst enemy. This went on for a better part of a year and a half. Through it all, I was able to see past her anger and sin towards me because of God showing me Grace and Mercy. I was able to pray for her, pray that God would give me the understanding of Grace and Mercy. I prayed that God would forgive her, that she would see my acts and be drawn to the Lord. I prayed for our love for each other to grow, and I was able to love her as a sister and forgive.
Each time these battles would fire up, it would tear away a piece of my heart. I couldn't figure out at first what I did wrong. I loved her, I loved her daughter as my own. I took them places they need to go, I bought her daughter things that the mother couldn't provide for her own daughter. But, leaning on God in this time was the only way I could survive this relationship. I didn't want loose "B" by cutting off ties to her mom.
About four months ago this sister passed away unexpectedly. I was not able to say goodbye as she was brain dead. I was not able to be by her side and hold her hand through this. The day of her funeral I had a moment of silence in her honor. I mourned her, I grieved for her daughter. Despite the battles we had, I miss her. I wish I could have done more. This love I had for her, is nothing compared to the Love God has for us, but I can honestly say I was able to love her because of God.
Stay tuned for the gift of shepherding.
And yet, the final chapter of that story may not be written. :) Who knows how God is using your love shown to her in the rest of that family?
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