If you would have told me, three and half years ago that I would be where I am now. I would have not believed you. Not understanding what my spiritual gifts were, growing in the Lord and having a deep relationship with him (God) I would have laughed in your face.
Three and half years ago I was in a very dark place. I was not close to God at all, even though I believed in him, I put him on the back burner. This dark place was so lonely. I was going to church, praying, visiting family on the weekends, and yet my heart desired more? I was in a state of depression. I was always angry, and I dished out emotional abuse out, to the ones I loved most.
I could still mask hurt pretty well. I know what your thinking (you showed no signs)? I never let anyone see my hearts struggles, (well except my mom). Hope was in store, and God had a plan! It started with (duty station Sun Shine). I was scared to leave my home and my family. We had moved before to other duty stations, but this was the first time I had moved with children. This was the first time I had no one to help out. (except my husband :)).
Duty station (Sun Shine) is not just a simile, we moved to the Sunshine state (i.e., California). When we drove up to our new home, God's love poured out on us immediately. The second we pulled up with this vast Penske Truck (the big yellow truck) towing one car and driving another we were showered by God's love.
Let me give you some history. We had a real estate agent looking at houses for us while we were 1999 miles away. We never saw this house until after we signed the lease. We gave her (the real estate) some guidelines as to what we wanted, but prayed that this is where God would want us. We walked inside the house to find the house was beautiful! It had more square footage than what we have ever had, every wall painted another color (no more white walls), two bathrooms and enough room for a family of 5. You need two bathrooms :). The house was a Godsend.
All of our furniture, (the colors and decorations) matched perfectly. The rent was under BAH (money the military pays for housing). I know what you're thinking how... is this God's love? I'm getting there.
Okay rewind a bit, I mentioned God's love poured out. So we pull up and park, get out, and the neighbor right next door (Uncle M to our kids) walks up. "Hey, there do you need a dolly to move the furniture?" "Do you need help unloading?" Apparently pulling up to a house with one male (my hubby) and 2 women with 3 small children sent up flags to Uncle M's wife, told him to get over and help! He was a tremendous help he helped my hubby unload the entire truck and car. He even came back the next day to help unpack a little. About an hour into moving in and unpacking the truck, the neighbors across the street came running over with toilet paper, paper towels, and dinner. Did you know those are some key things you need and don't think about ahead of time?!
At that time I didn't see it as God helping us and pouring out his love, I saw it as others being kind.
One full week went by, and we were not attending church, we hadn't found one yet. I looked at the PCA (http://www.pcanet.org/) website, and I found two within a reasonably close distance. Both churches were close and without all the confusing freeways. We visited one a little closer to home the following Sunday, and it just didn't sit right. I was so hurt. I wanted to find a place to call home. So after feeling defeated, I decided to try out this other church. That following weekend I went by myself, hubby decided to stay back and watch the kids (no sense in bringing the whole family, if we're not going to like it). I fell in love! The people were so friendly, the music was loud but enjoyable, the pastors even shook my hand and said welcome. (They also wanted to know more about us and our story) They honestly cared.
I was excited to tell my husband, that we had to come back next Sunday and give it a try. So, next Sunday we attended; the whole family. Once again we fell in love; including my husband. We were greeted with more smiles, more welcomes, more love! I was happy! I felt God calling us to this church, and so did my hubby. So we stayed and called it home.
About a month after attending CPC (City Presbyterian Church) they announced, that they would be starting up Community Groups again. These are the small groups you can participate in during the week. We signed up! In hopes that we would get better connected.
As I said at the beginning of this post, I would have laughed in your face if you said Growth was coming. Well, Community groups are where it all started. The beginning of God's plan. The change in the bumpy road.
Three and half years ago I was in a very dark place. I was not close to God at all, even though I believed in him, I put him on the back burner. This dark place was so lonely. I was going to church, praying, visiting family on the weekends, and yet my heart desired more? I was in a state of depression. I was always angry, and I dished out emotional abuse out, to the ones I loved most.
I could still mask hurt pretty well. I know what your thinking (you showed no signs)? I never let anyone see my hearts struggles, (well except my mom). Hope was in store, and God had a plan! It started with (duty station Sun Shine). I was scared to leave my home and my family. We had moved before to other duty stations, but this was the first time I had moved with children. This was the first time I had no one to help out. (except my husband :)).
Duty station (Sun Shine) is not just a simile, we moved to the Sunshine state (i.e., California). When we drove up to our new home, God's love poured out on us immediately. The second we pulled up with this vast Penske Truck (the big yellow truck) towing one car and driving another we were showered by God's love.
Let me give you some history. We had a real estate agent looking at houses for us while we were 1999 miles away. We never saw this house until after we signed the lease. We gave her (the real estate) some guidelines as to what we wanted, but prayed that this is where God would want us. We walked inside the house to find the house was beautiful! It had more square footage than what we have ever had, every wall painted another color (no more white walls), two bathrooms and enough room for a family of 5. You need two bathrooms :). The house was a Godsend.
All of our furniture, (the colors and decorations) matched perfectly. The rent was under BAH (money the military pays for housing). I know what you're thinking how... is this God's love? I'm getting there.
Okay rewind a bit, I mentioned God's love poured out. So we pull up and park, get out, and the neighbor right next door (Uncle M to our kids) walks up. "Hey, there do you need a dolly to move the furniture?" "Do you need help unloading?" Apparently pulling up to a house with one male (my hubby) and 2 women with 3 small children sent up flags to Uncle M's wife, told him to get over and help! He was a tremendous help he helped my hubby unload the entire truck and car. He even came back the next day to help unpack a little. About an hour into moving in and unpacking the truck, the neighbors across the street came running over with toilet paper, paper towels, and dinner. Did you know those are some key things you need and don't think about ahead of time?!
At that time I didn't see it as God helping us and pouring out his love, I saw it as others being kind.
One full week went by, and we were not attending church, we hadn't found one yet. I looked at the PCA (http://www.pcanet.org/) website, and I found two within a reasonably close distance. Both churches were close and without all the confusing freeways. We visited one a little closer to home the following Sunday, and it just didn't sit right. I was so hurt. I wanted to find a place to call home. So after feeling defeated, I decided to try out this other church. That following weekend I went by myself, hubby decided to stay back and watch the kids (no sense in bringing the whole family, if we're not going to like it). I fell in love! The people were so friendly, the music was loud but enjoyable, the pastors even shook my hand and said welcome. (They also wanted to know more about us and our story) They honestly cared.
I was excited to tell my husband, that we had to come back next Sunday and give it a try. So, next Sunday we attended; the whole family. Once again we fell in love; including my husband. We were greeted with more smiles, more welcomes, more love! I was happy! I felt God calling us to this church, and so did my hubby. So we stayed and called it home.
About a month after attending CPC (City Presbyterian Church) they announced, that they would be starting up Community Groups again. These are the small groups you can participate in during the week. We signed up! In hopes that we would get better connected.
As I said at the beginning of this post, I would have laughed in your face if you said Growth was coming. Well, Community groups are where it all started. The beginning of God's plan. The change in the bumpy road.
Thanks for inviting me in. I look forward to reading more. This is encouraging and a cool perspective, I'm sure I'll learn things I didn't know! ;)
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