Summer couldn't have come quicker. That meant all three children will be home every day and all day. Cg was off for the summers too. I was going strong, I was happy. The girls A and D were over at the house every day, playing with the kids and helping me out around the house. We took them to local parks during the week and sometimes to the beaches on the weekends. These girls were becoming a presence in our everyday life. It made me wonder what it would be like to have another child. That wonder soon turned into desire. A couple of church families were talking about adopting. My hubby could see my desire to have more and said if it makes you happy. Let 's look into it. I was too scared to proceed. I kinda gave up and felt defeated because I didn't know where to begin.
I faithfully served in the nursery until I fell that summer in the hot tub and injured my back. My desire for more children was always on my mind. Despite the pain, I was still serving in the nursery. Finally, I couldn't bear it anymore I had to step down. I told the director, with my back pain being as it is I just couldn't do it. I reminded her that I was in there for a full year sometimes more than scheduled because they were short staffed. I also had to confess to her that being in there made it so confusing for me.
I so longed for another child that it started to depress me. I couldn't have anymore physically, we made a decision for me to get fixed (permanent birth control) after my youngest was born. I was regretting my choice, and it was eating me alive. I can remember praying every day for God to give me a miracle, whether that was getting pregnant or him providing a child some other way. I soon became so angry that I didn't see any results. I got mad with God a couple of times. It wasn't until a couple of months later when I realized, God gave me 3 beautiful children and I don't need more children to make me happy. I needed him, I needed to repent of my anger at Him and praise Him for the children I had. Maybe sometime in the future adoption could be an answer or when the kids are a little older, but for now, God was telling me to be content.
The girl from the bus stop that moved away at the beginning of the year came back. We welcomed (B) into our home as well. Soon two neighbor girls became four A, S, B and D. They became family, so much they started calling my three children their brother and sister. My three children called them sisters. My husband and I "unofficially" adopted them into our family. I lifted them up in prayer when needed, we ministered to them God's ways, they had slumber parties with my children, birthday parties and I took the girls on the girls nights out with me. They even started calling me "Mom" when they were here.
I battled with them calling me Mom at first, as they all had their own mom's. I felt like I was taking that privileged away from their Mom's. When we were out and about, people asked me how many kids I had I would tell them I had (7). People used to ask, all they all yours? I would tell them yes. They were mine in the sense that they were at my house every day, I had a role in their life. I was there when they needed me for questions or when they would fight amongst each other. Teaching them to love, to forgive to serve each other.
School started soon enough, that meant my oldest son was now in 1st grade, we would see each other every morning before school. After school, they were over at my house.
This is where I learned what grace is, I also learned that God has me right where he wants me.
I faithfully served in the nursery until I fell that summer in the hot tub and injured my back. My desire for more children was always on my mind. Despite the pain, I was still serving in the nursery. Finally, I couldn't bear it anymore I had to step down. I told the director, with my back pain being as it is I just couldn't do it. I reminded her that I was in there for a full year sometimes more than scheduled because they were short staffed. I also had to confess to her that being in there made it so confusing for me.
I so longed for another child that it started to depress me. I couldn't have anymore physically, we made a decision for me to get fixed (permanent birth control) after my youngest was born. I was regretting my choice, and it was eating me alive. I can remember praying every day for God to give me a miracle, whether that was getting pregnant or him providing a child some other way. I soon became so angry that I didn't see any results. I got mad with God a couple of times. It wasn't until a couple of months later when I realized, God gave me 3 beautiful children and I don't need more children to make me happy. I needed him, I needed to repent of my anger at Him and praise Him for the children I had. Maybe sometime in the future adoption could be an answer or when the kids are a little older, but for now, God was telling me to be content.
The girl from the bus stop that moved away at the beginning of the year came back. We welcomed (B) into our home as well. Soon two neighbor girls became four A, S, B and D. They became family, so much they started calling my three children their brother and sister. My three children called them sisters. My husband and I "unofficially" adopted them into our family. I lifted them up in prayer when needed, we ministered to them God's ways, they had slumber parties with my children, birthday parties and I took the girls on the girls nights out with me. They even started calling me "Mom" when they were here.
I battled with them calling me Mom at first, as they all had their own mom's. I felt like I was taking that privileged away from their Mom's. When we were out and about, people asked me how many kids I had I would tell them I had (7). People used to ask, all they all yours? I would tell them yes. They were mine in the sense that they were at my house every day, I had a role in their life. I was there when they needed me for questions or when they would fight amongst each other. Teaching them to love, to forgive to serve each other.
School started soon enough, that meant my oldest son was now in 1st grade, we would see each other every morning before school. After school, they were over at my house.
This is where I learned what grace is, I also learned that God has me right where he wants me.
I'm loving this way of getting to know my sis better! ;)
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